Nov 28 Monday

Life Lessons ala Moi

There are moments in life when one should just stop talking.

When you’re a kid, taking off your britches and putting them back on, inside out, equals clean britches. (Until Mom catches you.)

Walking the grocery cart back into the store, guarantees you five miles of good karma. Ten miles if you do it while no one is looking.

If you have to buy personal items (lubricant, hemorrhoid cream, ultra super deluxe tampons) you can bet your pretty little face that a guy, who you had a crush on your sophomore year of high school, is going to walk up and stand in line behind you at the cash register. Chances are also good that the item won’t scan and the checker will have to type in the 45 digit key code. Insert uncomfortable pause here. 

House elves make the holiday season bearable. So does too much wine, chocolate covered salty things and bribery.

Lavender scented dish soap makes domestic duties more enjoyable. So does lavender scented counter top spray, candles and dryer sheets.

Brown leggings do not go with everything. Or anything.

More than two of your neighbor’s homemade bran muffins, with your morning cuppa coffay, will render you useless for the better part of the early afternoon.

Pssst…Young snobby people. Be kind. Someday that will you YOU who goes out for a drink with your girlfriends, then leaves in a minivan, after showing all your friends how you tucked your Spanx into your underpants. And you will feel like you’ve accomplished something. Because you have! Dammit.

STOP TALKING.

  • Posted By: Susan

    Brown leggings are amazing and should be a part of every woman’s closet. :)

  • Posted By: Heather

    Hey Katy! Do you have any recommendations on good places to get or brands to buy when it comes to all of the wonderful lavender scented items you mentioned?

  • Posted By: Deanne

    YEAH! to the snobby young moms, you know who you are. someday they’ll leave the house in their pajamas, with no intention of getting out, but karma kicks you in the ass and you have to… in the front circle of school no less!! Yeah!!

  • Posted By: Katy

    Mrs. Meyers Lavender Laundry Detergent – http://www.mrsmeyers.com/Products/Laundry/Lavender_Laundry_Detergent_-_64_Loads

    Up & Up (Target’s own brand) also makes one but my Target always runs out! It’s cheaper and smells just as great.

    I use Seventh Generation Lavender Mint dish soap EVERY SINGLE DAY. It’s priced cheaper than many of the leading brands and smells like happiness in a bottle. (http://www.seventhgeneration.com/Dish-Soap)

    Trader Joe’s makes a lavender sachet (packs of 6) that you throw into your dryer with your laundry. Each sachet adds aroma to 10 loads of laundry. When you are done with them, sprinkle them on your carpet and then vacuum them up! Yum.

    I am COMPLETELY obsessed with Trader Joe’s Lavender Body Lotion. SuperHub and I use it to swap footrubs all the time. I have a bottle in every bathroom for guests too. It’s inexpensive and smells organic, not fake at all.

    I even love Lavender soda. No shit. (http://drysoda.com/flavor-lavender.php)

    Do you think I need a 12 step program? Eek. Happy smelling!

  • Posted By: Katy

    Deanne – Seriously! Or the same exact situation, except in car line. Doooood.