Archive for August, 2011

Aug 24 Wednesday

More Confessions of an Imperfect Woman

Sometimes, when I get out of the shower, and there are only kid towels around, I have to use a horse or dog hooded towel. So naturally, I put it on my head, pony up and trot around SuperHub while be brushes his teeth. And it’s awesome.

Unless you see a baby’s head crowning, DO NOT ASK A WOMAN WHEN SHE IS DUE. Seriously. Gas, or a batch of raw cookie dough, can give a woman a protruding tummy in no time at all. Bite your tongue.

You know you need to lay off the drive-thru beverages when your 3 year old pulls up to you in her tiny plastic car and orders “A Diet Dr. Pepper and three chocolate milks please!

After giving birth, you may (or may not) freely discuss hemorrhoids while getting your hair cut. Loudly. And think nothing of it.

It took me seven tries to attempt to spell aforementioned hemorrhoids before spell check realized what I was trying to say.

Sometimes I leave the water running while I brush my teeth. And I feel like a rebel.

I can remember the exact order of contents in our medicine cabinet, but I will never figure out which light switch corresponds to which light in our house. It’s like a disco when I turn off lights to go to bed. On, off. On, off. On, off.

I let my 3rd child eat lunch food for breakfast. Because she is the 3rd child.

When my kids cry, because they accidentally bite their finger while eating, I can’t help but laugh. Then they cry harder.

Contrary to popular belief, one can have too much coffee.

People who post pictures of random strangers on social networking sites, then make fun of them, make me (very) angry. Doooood. That was my cousin. Play nice. Karma is a bitch.

When we host houseguests who wear glasses, I don’t stress (as much) about scrubbing the showers. Because you don’t wear your glasses in the shower and therefore won’t see the imperfections. Same theory goes for cleaning to the top of the fridge. Reserved for the occasions that tall people come over for a visit.

Fancy hand soap makes me feel less boring.

I blame the kids every time we lose the channel changer. Whether or not they were the last ones to use it. Because getting up off the couch to adjust the volume would be RIDICULOUS.

I sometimes oooh and ahhh at the cute little ground squirrels in our back yard with the kiddos. But the moment the same ground squirrel starts gnawing on my tomatoes, I fly out of my chair screaming “Get out of here you rascally little varmint!”

Previous confessions: Here, here, here and here.

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Aug 17 Wednesday

Vacation Hangover

It’s back to school time. 

Earlier last week, I would have probably told you that the end of summer makes me very sad. Today, I am going to tell you how HAPPY I am. Not happy, but ecstatic. Beaming. Positively, blissfully content.

Nobody tell my kids this, please, but I have thrown in the little white flag. They can fight, play too many video games and eat as many sugar filled mid-afternoon snacks as they want. I don’t care if all they drink is juice boxes, or if the only vegetable they eat at dinner is carrot sticks.

Our Griswold family vacation last week, depleted my reserve supply of patience and my fun tank. Clark W. Griswold (aka SuperHub) told Cooper (7) at breakfast to “Power through! You’re not tired, nobody is tired!” It was that exact moment, and again a half hour later, as I showered and got the traditional Vacation speech through the curtain (see here) that I decided I was now a passenger on The Crazy Train.

It was later that same day that I realized Sam, our three year old, had mastered her Aunt Edna impression.

So here I am, still on this ride. 

Until Thursday.

Then the proverbial ball is back in Mom’s court.

Structure, structure, he’s our man! If he can’t do it, nobody can!

I am a great mom, three days a week. When we have structure.

Summer is a powerful opponent to normalcy. It’s armed with late nights, Popsicles, nap eating afternoons and of course, heat.

When the school bell rings on Thursday morning, and two of my three critters are safely inside their classrooms, Aunt Edna and I are going to skip home, whistling Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah…Out of our assholes.

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Aug 06 Saturday

American Vacation

I want nothing more than a Clark W. Griswold vacation. Minus Cousin Eddie, of course. So, we piled the kids in the family truckster and hit the road.

It was hot, humid, smelly and almost exactly what I had imagined. It was perfect. There I was, feeling all American. Proud that we were taking a nice family road trip. Exploring our culture with our kids.

As we crossed over a long, beautiful bridge spanning a wide river basin, a kiddo pondered aloud from the third row: “What if there was NO water on Earth?”

As I took a deep breath in preparation to discuss the importance of healthy eco systems, a three footer from the second row chimed in.

“Oh no! That would mean NO FISH STICKS!”

And so it was. There was no arguing with this statement.

Our trip continued on to Saint Louis, MO where we spent a better part of 14 minutes perusing the museum located directly below the Gateway Arch. The air was cool, the kids were behaving and our brains were (totally) fried from the road.

As we strolled around the decades, we came to the 1960’s and a full wall photo of Neil Armstrong’s moon walk. I gasped, finally knowledgeable(ish) about a display, I grabbed the kids and explained to them who it was.

Excitedly, Cooper (7 years old) cut me off mid-sentence and exclaimed, “OH YEAH! I know Neil Armstrong! He was on Dancing With the Stars!”

Defeated, I replied. “You’re right Buddy. Now let’s go get a hot dog.”

Just can’t fight that American pride.

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Aug 03 Wednesday

We are (finally) home

We moved.

There is a long story about how we looked at this house a year ago, decided to build with my dad instead and then well…Life happens.

This house was still available in December, on a technicality,  so we scooped it up. It’s a beautifully built home that was in need of some major updating. It turns out, that was just the sort of distraction I needed this spring.

We are still in project mode, and will be for years, but feel like this is finally our home.

I love this house. I love it because it’s ours. It’s perfect for large family gatherings, hosting friends, creating laughter. We lucked out, once again, with amazing neighbors, beautiful views of sunsets and a place to put our feet up at the end of the day and feel proud of our hard work.

We are home.

Here are a few of my favorite things, that have helped pull our style into this traditional space. And, as you probably guessed, they are all Frugal Friendly. Just how I like it.

Top left: I am obsessed with jars. And so was my dad. The jar that adorns our fireplace mantle is an old pickle jar of my dad’s that I found in his garage. I filled it with pussy willows given to us as a housewarming gift by a neighbor. Not only did the pussy willow warm up our home, it served as my final color palette for every wall color on the main level. Cost: $0

Bottom Left: Kid art display boards. In my previous life, when I was a business owner, I made and sold these boards. They are routed, primed, panted and fitted with metal clasps to hold every precious piece of artwork tiny hands create. The bright colors add a splash of life to our back hallway and the art work makes everyone who passes by it smile. Thanks to 3M Command velcro wall hangers, there are no holes in our walls.  Cost: Materials (varies)  & 3M mounts ($5)

Middle: Quite possibly my favorite upgrade to our home, my kitchen light fixtures. I found these AH-MAZING reclaimed jar lights on etsy. Everything in Jann’s store, Lamp Goods,  is like eye candy. We have two of these same lights in our space, one over our kitchen table and one over the island. They are warm, unique and a conversation piece. We put them on dimmer switches to soften the light when needed. Add quality made goods with excellent customer service (I broke a jar!) and you have the perfect way to add fun to your home.

Right: Three things in this photo make me happy. First, the Sunshine Dairy jar from Sheboygan, Wisconsin circa 1948. It’s been in our family since and just looking at it makes me smile. Second, the aloe plant given to us by a good family friend. With a pool in our backyard, it’s essential to have aloe on hand to soothe sun kissed skin. Third, my green chair. Made by Mitchell Mayfield for Target.com, this super comfy chair makes an excellent desk chair. And extra dinner seat when dinner guests fill our table. Cost: The chair is on sale! Black, red and brown are available starting at $69.99 (regularly $139.99)

Moving is chaotic, emotional and totally insane. But in the end, it’s about organizing a space to create memories. It doesn’t take fancy furnishing to make a home, it takes a family.

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