Last week I decided it was time to have a Come To Jesus meeting with myself regarding the content of my under britches drawer. My collection of scantily clad wear is borderline schizophrenic. Pre-baby items I couldn’t bring myself to part with (because they WILL fit again someday, right?) to the post-baby bloomers I swore would never see the light of day again. But hey, they keep kept my entire abdomen warm under all that extra fabric.
While doing inventory, I attempted to recover a red satin thingamabob from the back corner of the drawer. I tugged at it for a good minute before realizing it was caught in something stronger than I was. I gave a yank and SNAP! Out popped a single leftover *T.E.D. hose tangled firmly around the formerly pretty satin nightie.
A metaphorical representation of the last 6 years of my life. A woman, tangled, stretched thin, trying to remain vivacious amidst becoming a mom.
Thankfully, I know better and threw the snarled mess into the toss pile. I don’t have room in my drawer (or life) for that much elastic OR satin right now. And when I do, I will spoil myself with something I feel good in.
Along with a great wax. And pedicure.
*T.E.D. Hose: The thick white circulation hose (with no toe) they make you wear in the hospital after giving birth or having surgery. Nothing like the semi-sexy ones pictured below. Add 20 lbs to each leg and then displace all the excess OVER the top of the hose. That is a more realistic image for you.