Archive for February, 2010

Feb 27 Saturday

20th Duggar Child Candidate

Tonight when Maddy stepped out of the tub, flipped her wet hair and put her towel on her head, I immediately said “With bangs like that, you are an honorary Duggar child.”

Then grabbed my camera.

Maddy: “What is a Duggar child?”

Cooper: “You know Maddy, the things mom tells us to count when we can’t sleep.”

Good thing I was sitting on the toilet. I laughed until I pee'd.

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Feb 26 Friday

Lil Bit O’ Sugar Sugar

For years we have lived in clumpy brown sugar. For Christmas a few years ago, I received a Brown Sugar Bear. He works well but what works even better is throwing a large marshmallow (or two)  in with your sugar.

Nothing fancy!

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Feb 25 Thursday

La Vita è Bella

Note to You: This post was written with a heavy heart.

This morning, perched cheerfully on top of her daddy’s shoulders, a beautiful 4 year old girl told me that her mommy was now up in heaven.

Her eyes lit up as she said the word heaven and a wide grin spread the distance of her face. “My grandpa needed her to keep him company!”

Beneath her, standing physically strong as her perch, I could see her dad begin to emotionally crumble.

Four hours later, I sat at her mom’s funeral service watching this father, on his knees, rocking back and forth holding on to his little girl. He was suffocating in grief.

Sitting in the very last pew of the church, I suppressed my cries so much that the pain still sits deep within my chest.

As I have grown older, I have uttered the words “When did life get so difficult?” too often.

Today, as I sat in the church, I began to look at the entirety of the situation. I was comforted by the traditions of my faith, the smell of incense and the warm sunshine that cast joyful shades of color across faces drowning in sorrow.

This family is going to be sustained by the community that had gathered to support them. A community of people who have gone through many unbearable things themselves. The room was filled with people, who are a complex mosaic of beautiful life experiences.

Just like the windows that cast light onto their faces.

Complicated and ever-changing as the sun sets on their lives.

Life is beautiful. Sometimes you just have to wipe away the tears before you can see that.

“Don’t cry because its over, smile because it happened.” Dr. Seuss

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Feb 23 Tuesday

“But” I Want More Wine!

SuperHub is due home from a business trip in t-minus 49 minutes.

As I walked back into the kitchen, for my second glass of (well deserved) wine, I noticed how nicely my day was summed up by four items that lay next to one another: Two homemade signs, a post bedtime bottle of wine and the corkscrew.

This is my life.

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Feb 22 Monday

Expletives Censored

On my way home tonight, with my car chocked full of precious and irreplaceable cargo, there was a maniac on a two lane highway behind me. He was lurching at my car, tailing me so close I couldn’t see his headlights.

So, of course, I did the logical thing. I slowed down.


He did not.

So I slowed down again.


Finally he backed off and I went about my way. When the single lane merged into two lanes, he flew up next to me only to be stopped by a stoplight. He was a 50 something meanie, who was also a coward because my eyes never left his window and he stared intently forward, pretending not to see me. When the light hit green, he floored *it to be stopped by the next light.

* “It” being his Ford Taurus…Not knocking the Taurus, just the ego inside of it. Dood, YOU HAVE 4 CYLINDERS.

I pulled up next to him, again, and stared. No response.

He turned right at the last minute.

No longer being able to control myself, I rolled down the window and yelled “KISS MY ASS, (insert expletive here)! “

#1: I acknowledge this being a “Parenting fail”. #2 I don’t care, it felt so good. In a really naughty kind of way.

From the third row of the car, Cooper shot straight up in his seat. “What did you say Mom?”

I mumbled and turned up the music.

“What did Mom say, Maddy?”

Maddy, from the second row goes, Um, I dunno. She just said somethin’ about LIPSTICK.”

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Feb 21 Sunday

Play With Your Wii-Wii

My family is officially (still) bananas for our Wii.

I seriously limit the usage with the kids but SuperHub is usually running for the power button as soon as the kiddos hit the hay.

This week, it is my goal, to sit down and play by myself. I need to up my skill level pronto. My kids ( & SuperHub) bowl better than I do, by a significant number of pins. They putt better. Play tennis better. Hit more balls in baseball. In Mario Kart they run circles around me, literally.

SuperHub I can understand, but I am at least 25 years older than you kids are, HOW ARE YOU BEATING ME AT THIS GAME?

Brown Family Rule #493: No playing Wii until Mom gets in a little practice.

Damn it feels good to be a rule maker.

Show off.

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Feb 21 Sunday

A Beautiful Reminder

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Feb 19 Friday

Life’s Little Tidbits

Note to You: Thank you for your questions! Working on something a little different to answer your creativity. Stay tuned…

If you have to give a urine sample, don’t drink coffee two hours before. Holy pee smell like coffay.

Don’t make a habit out of giving your baby a wet wipe when you are changing his/her poopy diaper. They eventually attempt to wipe themselves. Immediately followed by wiping their face. RELATED: Resist all urges to laugh and call them “butt face“.

If school calls and asks you to bring more snow clothes to your kindergartner because he took a stumble into a mud pile, move fast. If upon arriving they hand you a garbage bag, tied shut, filled with his coat, snow pants and boots, use the car ride home to prepare yourself for the worst.

When you have sick kids, it’s OK to sit on the couch, snuggle and watch TV. (Real Housewives of Orange County is OK for kids under the age of two, right?)

When your 18 month old walks around saying “Oh shit!” all day and you wonder where the world she learned that phrase? Refer to your reaction upon opening the bag of muddy clothes listed above.

It’s perfectly acceptable to email the parents of the kid, who your kid got into a rumble with, to place bets on an eventual winner schedule a play date.

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Feb 17 Wednesday

Ask Me

I get the best emails, notes and questions (once in the laundry detergent aisle of Target) from my readers.

The most recent: “Help! I need lunch box ideas, my child won’t eat anything! Truthfully, she just yaks too much at lunch time…BUT, do you have anything up your sleeve you could share?”

The most blunt: “Is SuperHub REALLY that Super or are you just pretending? Do you guys ever, like, fight?”

So, here is your chance to ask me anything.

Email or post your question and I will do my best to answer them.

And go…

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Feb 16 Tuesday

It’s Peanut Butter Jelly Time!

While walking in the 3 Day 60 Mile Walk for Breast Cancer in Dallas, Texas, I was introduced to the best energy packed snack ever. It’s ridiculously gratifying. Frozen peanut butter and jelly on graham cracker sandwiches. (Peanut free? See your option below.)

They sound ordinary but what happens in the freezer is extraordinary.

You have to be patient. When you first make these little squares, they are just your average pb & j on grahams or cream cheese frosting on grahams. Hours later they are pure bliss.

Make a few right now and forget about them until tomorrow morning.

The graham crackers soften, the peanut butter becomes the consistency of a rich creamy ice cream and the jelly’s sweetness is tamed. Snarfing one down is very close to a hungry man’s religious experience.

What you need:

Graham crackers, divided into squares (Organic varieties do not contain high fructose corn syrup)
Peanut butter, Skippy Natural is our choice (No hydrogenated oils)
Jelly, Any flavor you choose

Peanut Free Option

1 8 oz Package cream cheese (1/3 less fat works), softened
2 Tablespoons Butter, softened
1 teaspoon Pure vanilla extract
2-3 Cups Powdered Sugar, sifted

Beat the butter in the bowl until creamy. Mix in the cream cheese, beat until light and fluffy. Stir in the vanilla extract and slowly add the powdered sugar. Mix until smooth and creamy. Resist the urge to sit on the couch with the bowl and growl at those who interfere as your fingers scoop the frosting directly into your mouth.

Line up your crackers and spread away, making a thick layer of peanut butter or cream cheese on your cracker. Top the peanut butter with jelly. The squeezable jelly works well for this recipe.

Top with another cracker and individually wrap using plastic wrap or my personal favorite, GLAD Cling Wrap. Toss them in the freezer and wait at least 6 hours. Serve immediately after removing from the freezer.

Now, excuse me while I teach this bowl of cream cheese frosting a lesson. Grrrrowl.

So easy, so good.

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